How To Have a Good Relationship

Taco Love – Some tips on how to have a good relationship

Tacos make a great relationship. If you hate tacos, then I don’t like you either. Leave. IM JOKING COME BACK. Just read it, you don’t have to eat tacos, I promise.

Tacos have many ingredients that make them so great. But all the ingredients must come together in harmony or else it becomes a mess. I bet you never thought tacos could teach you how to have a good relationship.

So, what do I mean by make your relationship a taco??? Here. Check this out.

The Shell (communication) – Communication is what holds a relationship together, without it, there can never be a relationship i.e. no taco. People often underestimate communication. They get scared to say the wrong thing or maybe they say the right thing but at the wrong time and then it just fucks everything.

I’m not saying communication is easy. But in order to make things work, you have to be able to communicate. A LOT OF YOU think that if your partner understands you then that means that they can read your mind and so you shouldn’t need to communicate everything. That’s right, you know who you are, I just called you out. But honestly, just because you’re together and you understand each other doesn’t mean that you don’t need to communicate.

I always recommend that if you are feeling a certain way about something, it’s important to let the other person know. But HOW you do it matters MORE than what you say. Read that again. People respond to TONE first, then the words. Calling someone an asshole as you laugh conveys a much different meaning that calling someone an asshole with a serious tone.

Now, it’s totally understandable if you’re angry and you lashed out. We’re only human so it’ll happen. What’s important is to realize it and reflect on it. You don’t need to go and apologize or the person as you were justified in doing so but if you’re able to help them understand why you did what you did, that’s what communication is really about. Keep a calm tone and communicate your feelings the way you would with your parents or friends.

HOW DO YOU DO IT? Think about it this way. When you have a problem in your relationship, sometimes you feel like you can’t talk to your partner so instead you go to your family, friends or therapist. Now, think about how you convey the message to them. What your tone Is like and how you’re trying to get them to understand your point.

The effort you put with the calm tone, the explanations and the listening to their questions, this is exactly how you should be talking to your partner about it. If you’re able to get your family, friends or therapist to understand your perspective, then you can be damn sure that you can get your partner to do it.

The meat/chicken/soy/fish (Intimacy) – Both physical and emotional intimacy. By this, I mean hugs, kisses, sex, cuddles, assurances and affirmations. It’s important to have emotional and physical intimacy for a healthy relationship. Remember the honeymoon phase? When you guys just met? When you guys were fucking anywhere and everywhere? What happened to that? Remember when you made an effort to buy each other gifts? Plan dates? Tell each other you love them? Hold hands? What happened?

Look, I know everyone gets busy. Life gets in the way and that’s fine. THAT MAKES TWO OF YOU. BOTH of you have life in your way. BOTH of you are busy. BUT that doesn’t mean that one of you can’t initiate SOME effort to show intimacy. Eventually, the other will do the same.

For the men, sit with her, spend time, listen to her, let her know how much you appreciate her, hold her hand, cuddle, be affectionate, get her small gifts.

For the ladies, tell him you appreciate his efforts, bring him some food or a beer – men love food as a sign of affection -, hug him randomly, tell him you’re proud of him, buy him something.

Little things like that go a long way towards rekindling your intimacy.

The toppings, tomatoes, lettuce, onions (understanding) – Understand one another by remaining cool/chill like the toppings. Understanding allows for a buffer to the problems. Take your time to remain calm and understand each other. No matter the situation, always remain calm. Remaining cool and collected will allow you to understand the reasons for the other’s behaviour.

Understanding doesn’t just come with recognizing their behaviours but also focusing on the why. Why are they doing what they’re doing, good or bad. They made your favorite dinner, why? Because they love you. They were irritated today, why? Because they had a bad day. It’s important to take some time to sit back and understand WHY.

Communication and understanding go hand in hand. ASK THEM. TALK TO THEM. Make the effort to understand their perspective as they should do the same with you. Have discussions after an argument. Reflect on their points. Affirm their perspectives. You can respect someone’s perspective even if you don’t agree with them. Help them understand your perspective. MAKE THE EFFORT.

The sauce/hot sauce (Spice/Excitement) – Doing the same thing every day can get boring. Same with relationships. It’s important to introduce new and exciting things to spice it up such as vacations, date nights, sex marathons, and other creative ideas.

Guys, a relationship doesn’t need to be a routine. Do something spontaneous. You’re home alone together, have sex on the kitchen counter with the blinds open – please clean the counter after or forget about inviting me over for dinner. Do something exciting. Go on a spontaneous trip. Plan a date night where you pretend to have just met each other for the first time. Get creative. It helps to remind you of the spark that got you guys connected in the first place.

The mess - Remember, when you eat tacos, there will always be a mess (crumbs). You may lose a bit of the communication, intimacy, understanding and excitement but it’s important to recognize these crumbs and clean them. Pick up those little pieces. Recognize when too much of the sauce is falling out. This means that you’re lacking the spice/excitement. Recognize when the shell is falling apart. Fix the communication.

If you don’t, you’ll see the mess start to build up. Then eventually you’ll have so much on your plate that it’s falling off. This is where relationships start to fall apart. The mess becomes so big that it gets overwhelming. Then you’ll need someone else’s help to clean it. Whether it’s a counselor, your friends, family or whatever. It’s better to recognize and clean the mess yourself than to wait for someone else.

Always make an effort to clean the mess. If you wait too long to clean your mess, it’ll build and then you’ll need someone else’s help to clean it.