How to Flirt

So, how do you flirt? It’s not a simple answer but if I was to give you one, it’d be that it’s a combination of wittiness/playfulness and romanticism/flattery.

A lot of people say that flirting is pretty much just complimenting. No, that’s just complimenting. Yes, there’s a difference. Flirting has a playful aspect to it. The best is when you can get a repartee going. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Some of you need to look up the definition of repartee. Go ahead. I’ll wait…………………….

Alright, I’ll tell you how to flirt now.

Repartee is like the best friend of flirting. If you can figure out how to naturally incorporate flirting within the repartee, my god, you could fall in love with yourself because of how good your flirting will be.

How do you do it? Well, compliment them but playfully. Flatter them but also give them a challenge with witty replies. Bonus points if you can incorporate things they’ve already told you or tell you during conversation. It indirectly flatters them by showing that you listened and paid attention to the conversations you’ve already had.

For example, 'wow, how dare you make me look like a bum by wearing that phenomenal dress, I have to go home and change now, look what you did'. See how you're lightly flattering them. It's a playful compliment.

Banter lightly. Make light fun of them but also yourself. This shows them that you’re comfortable enough with their presence to poke light fun of them but also that you’re confident enough to make fun of yourself. That way you’re not making them feel like you’re laughing at them, rather you want to laugh with them.

When they make fun of you back or flirt back with you, acknowledge it. If they poke fun of you in a clever/witty manner, laugh and let them know that you appreciate their intellect. A simple comment such as, ‘hey that’s a good one!’ can go a long way in raising their confidence and comfort around you. Make them as comfortable as you would want them to make you.

Remember, flirting is about letting them know you like them, listening to them, paying attention, making them comfortable to be around you but also making them excited to be around you. The banter, fun talk, compliments, wittiness all work together to create this sense of comfort and excitement around you. This will get them to want to have more conversations with you, to want to be more around you.

Flirting isn’t just about your words, it’s also about your body language. Be open. Smile and laugh often. Nod your head when you’re listening to them. MAKE EYE CONTACT. This is very important. You can flirt with just eye contact. Now, don’t make it creepy by just staring and not smiling you weirdo. Smile, stare at their eyes, and their lips as they talk and then go back and forth. I’d say 85% eyes and then the rest on the lips. You can do the math. Go back and forth.

Touching is a difficult area to maneuver especially if you’ve just met each other. What I would recommend is to try your best to close the space. Now, this does NOT mean that you’re breathing on them. This means, when you guys joke or laugh, do a light tap on the shoulder. If they make fun of you lightly, or banter with you, tap them on their arm, ‘a playful tap’. This will get them comfortable with your touch and it will also let them know that they can do the same with you.

For example, if they make a joke and you say ‘hey, that’s a good one!’, you can simultaneously do the playful slap on their arm. You can also have playful conversations that can lead to creating an environment for touch. For example, if you playfully comment on their small hands, this can give you an opportunity to compare your hand sizes. You see how you created an opportunity for a touch.

But please use this carefully. Don’t overdo it. Don’t do it on sensitive areas. YES, DON’T BE AN IDIOT AND USE THIS TO TRY TO TOUCH THEIR ASS YOU WEIRDO. I know some of you are already thinking, ‘Oh I could say, your ass is tiny, look at it compared to my hand’. STOP IT. Don’t do that. You’re trying to make them comfortable, not feel them up and creep them out.

Learn to laugh at yourself. You’ll need this because sometimes people may not get your humor but when you laugh at yourself, it can often make the others laugh. You ever hear the term, ‘laughing is contagious’. It works. You can even use those awful cheesy pickup lines as long as you’re confident enough. Acknowledging their cheesiness actually makes them better.

For example, it’s easier to say, ‘You ready for the cheesiest, mozzarellaest line you’ve ever heard? Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because I think you’re an angel’. That’s much funnier and likelier to get the person to laugh than just saying, ‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because I think you’re an angel’. Tell me the truth. You chuckled at the first one didn’t you?

Just remember, everything that you do, keep it NATURAL. Read my other blogs, they explain what that means. But the gist of it is, when I say natural, I mean, don’t make it scripted. Don’t be a robot. Don’t make it seem like you memorized this and practiced in front of a mirror. The best way to keep it natural is to understand what you read in this blog and then say it in the way that best fits your personality.

Your conversation should just flow. That’s how to flirt.