How to Build Confidence

Confidence

Ahhh yes, the famous question. How to build confidence. You can read books on it. Listen to podcasts on it. But the truth of the matter is, you need to fuckin do something about it. You, and only you can really do something about it. I’m going to get straight to the fuckin point because that’s what I do. Listen, I may be ugly to some, sexy as fuck to most. I’m funny and, yup, I’m fucking confident.

How am I so confident? My way may not be your way but it’s one way to build confidence. It involves two things, Not giving a fuck and Laughing at yourself. This sounds simple but it takes practice. I’ll tell you this though, you get this right, there is a 99.99% chance you’ll be more confident than you’ve ever been. Alright, let do this shit.

Not Giving a Fuck and Laughing at it

What does this mean? Some of you idiots are probably like, it means telling people to fuck off when you get rejected, not caring if someone is crying. NO. That’s not what it is you CLOWN. Not giving a fuck is about acceptance. In this situation, it’s about your flaws, rejection and most importantly, ACCEPTING ALL POSSIBILITIES.

First, it’s your flaws. Everybody in this world has flaws. YES, EVEN YOU. I hear you saying, ‘No, I don’t’, YES YOU DO, GET OVER IT! When I say flaws, I mean things you CAN’T CONTROL. There are many things you can control; the way you dress, the way you groom yourself, your health, your physique to a degree, the way you speak and present yourself.

These are things you can control and change. You should take time to make sure you grow on these aspects that you can control. This means, having a look at grooming tips that fit your style, fashion tips, working out, eating healthy and just being the best you, whatever you think that is.

Then there are things you can’t control. Your flaws. A bigger than average nose – you can say mine is sort of big, but you can bet your ass it’s still sexy - or you have a pimple that’s unexpected, or you have weird thing you do subconsciously, whatever it is.

The thing is to accept that these things come naturally with who you are. These are things you ‘feel shy’ about when you talk to someone. Things that you go, ‘oh I wonder what people might think of this’ or ‘are they looking at me weird because of this?’. These things are your flaws. Accept them. Just say, alright, this is something I can’t control so why am I letting it bother me? How do you do this? LAUGH AT IT.

I don’t mean start laughing randomly on the street, that’s just weird. Instead, I mean to laugh at it in the sense, if you don’t find it weird, people likely won’t either. The reason why people find something weird is because it’s something that they can observe about you but aren’t sure if you realize it yourself, or they aren’t comfortable enough to address it.

For example, if you had a giant pimple on your face and you’re talking to someone. You’ll notice that they keep trying not to look at it but they can’t help themselves. If you just laugh and make a joke out of your pimple, like ‘I know., I couldn’t stop staring at it either in the mirror earlier, I’m thinking I might just give it a name at this point’. What this does is first, it makes the other person more comfortable in the whole situation and second, it makes the thing seem less impactful.

When a child falls, if everyone in the room gasps and starts panicking, the child will also panic and likely think the fall was something bad and probably start crying. Now, if everyone in the room comes up to the child and smiles and laughs and says that was so funny, you’re so funny and laughs with the child, the child will likely think that falling isn’t such a bad thing and it’s a light situation. Similarly, you start doing that with your own flaws, you’ll see a world of a difference.

Men, let’s say you’re balding, you’re insecure about it, because let’s be honest, this is one of the things men are insecure about for some reason. Fuck it, own it. Make a joke of it. Why? It shows everybody else that this guy knows he’s balding yet he still smiles through it and doesn’t give a fuck. That energy you project will be so contagious that other people won’t think much of it either. Nowadays, nobody cares anyways about balding.

Same way if you feel that you’re short or you have big ears or a big nose or your haircut is messed up or you don’t look pretty or whatever else. Who cares? If you don’t, then nobody else will either. The more you care about it and feel nervous about it, the more the other person will as well. Smile in the face of nervousness and you’ll see that soon you won’t be nervous at all.

The entire idea behind confidence is to take away power from things that hinder your confidence. So, all those things I listed above from your height to your haircut and everything else. How do you take power away from something? By acknowledging it as a light situation and then proceeding to not giving it any attention. Just look at everything on social media to what you see on tv. What has the most influence and power? Things that have the most attention.

When you take the power away from these things by acknowledging they exist but then not caring they exist, this allows for the power to transfer over to the not caring part. When you acknowledge but also care, then you’re giving power to its existence and its impact. The whole point is that you know it exists, but you don’t need to care that it exists. Acknowledge it – by making a joke or something about it – which makes it seem insignificant, then move on. That’s it.